Two Minute Read: The Glorious, Magnificent Awkwardness of Conor Dunne

Conor Dunne is very tall.

If you weren’t previously aware of this, you’ll definitely be made aware of it if you read, well, almost literally any article ever written about the Irishman. As KONM has illustrated with the opening sentence of this piece, bloggers, journalists and commentators – and the man himself – appear to be entirely unable to process Dunne’s existence or report on something he’s done without at least alluding to his vast frame.

Conor Dunne, then. Very tall. A tall man, Conor Dunne. Yes indeed. He’s also a very heavy man: at 88kg, you’re well into MAMIL-on-a-sportive territory there. His head alone* probably weighs about the same as Nairo Quintana. Without resorting to cheap hyperbole, he could probably dam the Zambezi if he ever took a swim at Victoria Falls.

*I mean, how do you even build a helmet for a head that size?

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Every time he goes out for a ride, Dunne must be churning out a quite incredible number of watts in order to ferry that body around the place. At a conservative estimate, the hole he punches in the air is roughly the size of a semi-detached house – get on his wheel and wind-resistance will be nothing more than a distant memory. KONM has been trying to imagine how it feels to ride in his slipstream – probably a bit like how kestrels feel when they’re chilling out on a nice handy zephyr.

All of which makes him an absolutely fascinating rider to watch. There’s something thrilling about seeing him chug along like an aircraft carrier on wheels while smaller, punier humans buzz around him like dinghies. When he sits up and takes his hands off the bars, it just looks wrong. So wrong. And yet, so, so right.

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Dunne has likely been singled out because of his height for most of his life, so it seems trite to do it here, but there doesn’t seem much use denying his incongruity.

For KONM, though, this is a good thing – homogeneity is the enemy. In this house, we respect those who laugh in the face of the laws of thermodynamics (and possibly also aerodynamics).

Don’t ever change, Conor. Not that you could ever change the fact you’re a bloody giant, but you get the point. Gravity may not have your back, but KONM does.

Featured photo: FrenchKheldar/Flickr, Licenced CC BY-NC-SA 2.0, edited by KONM